S&C contributor and Pompey Politics Podcast host Ian Morris shares his experience of the lockdown, as someone with diabetes. It’s Day 57 and Ian leaves the controversial world of left vs right politics to tackle a more saucy subject…
Tuesday 12th May Day, 57 of 89.
As the days move with almost glacial slowness toward 89, I am struck today how some numbers have particular significance.
Today, day 57, is also the number of varieties supplied by the good people of Heinz, it is on their Tomato Ketchup, but I don’t know if they still use it on their other products.
It set me wondering, why 57? If this has ever swum across your conscious mind but you lacked the will to search the interclacker – fear not, an answer follows.
Evidently, founder Henry Heinz thought using an odd number for the varieties they supplied would be a good marketing gimmick. At the time, and this was back in the late 1890s, they supplied over 60 products but Henry didn’t rate this number so plumped for his lucky number of 57 instead and the legend was born.
As I mused on Heinz, I began to consider other universal food truths. While many branded products are simply a way of relieving us of additional cash (the supermarket own brands are equally splendid), there are some areas where a universal food truth applies. This is never more so than when it comes to the provision of condiments and sauces. My list is below but you probably already know that:
- Tomato Sauce must be Heinz
- Brown Sauce is HP
- English Mustard is supplied by Colemans
- Mayonnaise is by the fine people at Hellmans, and the low fat version is perfectly acceptable
- Worcestershire sauce is provided by Lea and Perrins. Does anyone else actually make it? (Editor’s note: Yes, there’s even a vegan one!) And do L&P make anything else? (Editor’s note: No.)
- Hot Sauce has to be Frank’s (I drink the stuff)
- Pickle has to be Branston
Table Salt has to be supplied by Saxa. OK,this one is a lie. All table salt is the same.
The same rigorous standards are not needed for mint sauce, tartare, horseradish and – why anyone would want to put jam on their roast (is that a Snoop Dogg lyric?) is beyond me so – I have no opinion on Cranberry Sauce.
I believe very strongly in a range of opinions being available for everyone, except when it comes to condiment selection. The truth is out there.
And if you want to enjoy a smile and bad language doesn’t offend, then pop over to my chums at Star & Crescent on Facebook and give a listen to Samuel L. Jackson ‘Stay the F*** at home’.
Don’t miss Ian’s diary each day, keep an eye out for new entries here, along with past editions of the Pompey Politics Podcast. How are you managing the lockdown at the moment? Get in touch with us over on Facebook or Twitter and let us know your experiences and any hints and tips you’re finding helpful right now.