I. L. Literate, who in their own words is ‘a soulless, derivate, mercenary hack absolutely in step with the neoliberal cultural climate of soporific pastiche, commodified nostalgia, artistic risk aversion and insipid liberal identity politics dressed up as radical chic’, is back with a further 8 clerihews about geriatric US President Joe Biden. (A clerihew is a poem consisting of two rhyming couplets with the first line naming a famous – or infamous – person).
is too old for hang-glidin’.
Much less than that; if a pin were to drop,
the poor old fellow’s heart would stop.
looks like he’s subsidin’.
He limps and shivers, scowls and stutters –
thank God he’s in charge of the nuclear button.
supposed to be providin’
an antidote to Donald Trump.
‘Cept Joe’s Third Way shtick helped spawn that chump.
is not very much like John Lydon.
‘Cos aside from all his problems Joe
can actually play and sing a note.
has much experience of presidin’
despite having plagiarised a pillock:
a two-time loser called Neil Kinnock.
will you keep survivin’
till once again the voters cry:
‘We’re sick of neoliberals, let’s give neofascists another try’?
likes to go hitch-hikin’.
He cocks a thumb at his front door
and the stairlift takes him to the first floor.
can’t keep hidin’
his love of the military-industrial complex
by having a VP of colour and the opposite sex.
*Our lawyers have vetted this material and concluded that it isn’t legally defamatory about Sir Ed, just a bit unkind to him.
Image ‘Former Vice President of the United States Joe Biden speaking with attendees at the 2020 Iowa State Education Association (ISEA) Legislative Conference at the Sheraton West Des Moines Hotel in West Des Moines, Iowa’ by Gage Skelton reproduced under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic licence.