8 Clerihews Defaming* Joe Biden

I. L. Literate, who in their own words is ‘a soulless, derivate, mercenary hack absolutely in step with the neoliberal cultural climate of soporific pastiche, commodified nostalgia, artistic risk aversion and insipid liberal identity politics dressed up as radical chic’, is back with a further 8 clerihews about geriatric US President Joe Biden. (A clerihew is a poem consisting of two rhyming couplets with the first line naming a famous – or infamous – person).

Joe Biden
is too old for hang-glidin’.
Much less than that; if a pin were to drop,
the poor old fellow’s heart would stop.
Joe Biden
looks like he’s subsidin’.
He limps and shivers, scowls and stutters –
thank God he’s in charge of the nuclear button.
Joe Biden’s
supposed to be providin’
an antidote to Donald Trump.
‘Cept Joe’s Third Way shtick helped spawn that chump.
Joe Biden
is not very much like John Lydon.
‘Cos aside from all his problems Joe
can actually play and sing a note.
Joe Biden
has much experience of presidin’
despite having plagiarised a pillock:
a two-time loser called Neil Kinnock.
Joe Biden
will you keep survivin’
till once again the voters cry:
‘We’re sick of neoliberals, let’s give neofascists another try’?
Joe Biden
likes to go hitch-hikin’.
He cocks a thumb at his front door
and the stairlift takes him to the first floor.
Joe Biden
can’t keep hidin’
his love of the military-industrial complex
by having a VP of colour and the opposite sex.
*Our lawyers have vetted this material and concluded that it isn’t legally defamatory about Sir Ed, just a bit unkind to him.
Image ‘Former Vice President of the United States Joe Biden speaking with attendees at the 2020 Iowa State Education Association (ISEA) Legislative Conference at the Sheraton West Des Moines Hotel in West Des Moines, Iowa’ by Gage Skelton reproduced under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic licence.