Old

I am retired

But

I am not

Tired (not all the time, anyway)

I will go to a care home soon

Where I will be cared for

If I’m lucky

But

I still care

And

It won’t be home

I’ve heard it’s our fault:

Trump

Brexit

The racism

The homophobia

The kids who will never afford their own homes.

I never wanted any of this

So much hate, so much division, so little opportunity

I taught my pupils to open their eyes, open their minds, open their hearts

Confident

They would have it better than us.

They would be Happy

and

Kind (that’s all I really wanted)

Now grown up

They scowl at me (do the young still say ‘scowl?)

When I venture out (or venture?)

In their way

Too slow, too unsteady on my feet

An imagined enemy

Consuming their inheritance

I’d like to reach out

Like to talk to them

Share my knowledge again; learn about them

But

I don’t think

They can see me.

 

Deborah Shaw