Laszlo Dumitrescu is a businessman who emigrated from Bucharest to Southsea in 2015. Following on from his adventures in Issue 1, the wealth creator casts an eye over a General Election in which he is not eligible to vote, but maintains a keen interest.
David Cameron’s Tories vow to cut welfare state by further billions, meaning your English benefits scum come knocking on my door looking for work. I even receive a letter from Department of Work and Pensions offering me dole scroungers working for free. But after my last experience with English workers, Mr Cameron would have to do more than offer wealth creators cheap scoundrels for their vote, like for example show Sam Cam’s breasts to camera, or allow businessmen to impose upon Work Programme scroungers their own brand of sanctions.
Ed Miliband make tough work of eating bacon sandwich and he vow to raise the minimum wage barely above inflation to £8 an hour by 2020, which is both pathetic and scary at same time. I am afraid for him in a room with real men like Putin, who will make better job of Miliband than Miliband make of bacon sandwich.
Ukip is my favourite political party of the moment. I do not need to know any policies because top fellow Nigel Farage assure me personally when he visit Southsea this year that if he win the general election, which I think he is odds-on favourite for, he will let me shave his head and we drink together in House of Commons while slashing business regulations such as EU working time directive and child labour laws.
Even though Vince Campbell made a very nice valuation of the Post Office, his Liberal Democrats would be lucky to beat a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest. They would do better off fielding a sex offender as candidates than their walking car accident Nick Clegg. From what I hear, they have done so for many years.
Photography by Sarah Cheverton.