Mindful Dolt Guru

Hi there, I’m the Level 9 Eminently Mindful Dolt Guru Sadhu Juju-Master Sandwich-Artist Masai-Harmer, but you can call me Kevin. Welcome to the Temple of the Shadow of the Dyslexic Monkey and to this ancient, proto-pagan, pre-Zoroastrian healing sacrament that I made up in February 2006. I’m real new to Portsmouth and I’m hoping you Read more

Live! Tonight! In Portsmouth! Possibly…

Presented by TS Evinrude, Gorgeous Cretin and Omnimoda Music. There’s a ticket tonight that is hotter than quark-gluon plasma. It’s the only place to be. It’s the lateral earache epitome. It’s the auditory equivalent of a Dutch ping-pong volcano. It’s the fossilized clitoris of the lady in the lake. It’s hair colouring rampant with a legless Read more

Statement by Police & Crime Commissioner Lucifer Pillowtalk

Following the departure of the previous Police & Crime Commissioner for Hampshire & the Isle of Wight at the May elections, the newly elected Lucifer Pillowtalk speaks exclusively to S&C about his priorities for the city.  Good people of Portsmouth, we are in the grip of a crimewave. Incidents of ‘toxing’ where old ladies are Read more